“I paid Rs 17,000 to fake my NEET PG marks because I couldn’t face my parents.”


“My family didn’t talk to me for three years because I didn’t get into IIT.”

Two headlines. Two timelines.

One truth: In middle-class India, your scoreboard is your soul.


One common heartbreak: A desperate attempt to prove their worth, not to the world... but to their own families! I say this with utmost confidence — and I too have been there, done that!

In Udupi, a final-year medical student, crushed under family pressure, chose forgery over failure. Not because he was a criminal — but because he was terrified of going home with the truth.

Elsewhere, a now-successful AI techie reveals how his “failure” to get into IIT earned him not just taunts, but three years of radio silence from his own family. He made it big — but the trauma? That stayed.

This isn’t ambition. This is emotional blackmail dressed up in sanskaari packaging.

Let me be blunt.

The great Indian middle-class dream almost always goes by this equation:

Success = IIT, NEET, CA, or UPSC.

Plan B = Shame.

Mental health? Never budgeted. And it usually leads to being branded as “weak”, “coward”, “incapable” — or all of them.

We say, “education is empowerment,” but what was really meant was: “Get into this college / study this degree or you have zero respect from me.”

So, let me ask you — when a child forges a marksheet just to feel worthy…
Is that a parenting fail? A societal flaw? Or a toxic system pretending to be tradition?
Spoiler: It’s all of the above.

We belong to the tribe that “invests” in children like they're long-term LIC policies. Dreams are planned, budgets are tight, emotions are weaponised, and failure? That’s not just a bad result — it’s a betrayal.
"Middle-class kids like me don't have many options," said one young man. And honestly? He wasn’t wrong.

In a home where EMI beats empathy, love often becomes conditional. The path is narrow — IIT, NEET, CA, IAS. You either walk it or walk out.

It’s no longer about passion. It’s about permission.
And God forbid if you fail — the silence from your family is louder than any shout, especially if you're from a family like mine, consisting of legendary paediatricians.

Let’s talk real for a moment — is this a parenting fail or just “tough love” taken too far?
Well, intentions aren’t always toxic — most parents want their kids to succeed so they never have to struggle the way they did.
But the execution? That’s where the system collapses.

When your child thinks faking a marksheet is easier than facing your disappointment —
that’s not ambition. That’s fear.
When a JEE rank becomes more important than your child's mental health —
that’s not parenting. That’s pressure rebranded as pride.
We need to stop confusing discipline with demand and support with suffocation.

Dear parents!

Here’s a hot take: if your kid is scared to tell you they failed — you haven’t brought up a successful child. You’ve built a scared one.

Also, here’s a research check-in:
A 2023 NCERT study found 80% of Indian students experience exam-related anxiety.
The WHO reported that one in seven Indian adolescents suffers from mental health disorders — most of it linked to academic stress.
India sees one student suicide every hour (NCRB data). That’s not a stat. That’s a damn siren.

But I do understand your point of view too — you’ve survived on scarcity, seen success as survival, and think toughness = love.
But when love looks like silence, shame, or sarcasm, it doesn’t build resilience. It breeds rebellion, resentment, and regret.

So, here’s a cheat sheet on what works:
1) Ditch the “only one path to success” script
2) Allow Plan B, C, or even Z without shame
3) Raise children, not report cards
4) Allow them to fail with dignity — because real growth is born there. Also, normalise failure and flexibility
5) Teach them how to bounce back, not just how to “top”
6) Celebrate who they are, not just what they clear

And last but most important — create an emotionally safe home!
Let’s build homes that raise humans, not just high performers.

Dear students!

Never feel that you're not enough. Let me tell you something you probably needed to hear a long time ago:
Your worth is not your rank.
Your future isn't finished because of one result.
And your dreams matter, even if they don’t fit inside an exam sheet.

Stay strong and stay calm — everything else will fall in place... one piece at a time!

With regards,

Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj

Your coach who grew up middle-class, broke the rules, and still turned out pretty damn alright!