I always say: "The right mentor is the cheat code to success."

Let’s get one thing straight — no one, absolutely no one, achieves greatness alone. Don’t believe me? DYOR—Do Your Own Research —and you’ll find that behind every star athlete, business mogul, or artistic genius, someone was guiding them at their crucial phase.

Case in point: Latest sensation and Indian cricketer Abhishek Sharma credits his guru Yuvraj Singh for his meteoric rise in the world of cricket, and Apple founder late Steve Jobs mentored Mark Zuckerberg in Facebook’s early days. The right guidance? It’s often the game-changer.

But here’s the catch: Not all mentors are created equal. Some lift you up, while others...not so much.

So, how do you pick the right one? And why does mentorship even matter? Let’s break it down — practically, realistically, and with a little sass. AB The Coach’s style!

Not everyone gets a Yuvraj Singh or a celebrity mentor, but that doesn’t mean mentorship is out of reach. It can come from unexpected places — an experienced colleague, a senior in your field, or even someone whose insights you absorb from books, podcasts, or courses (without idolising them or fangirling/fanboying over them!).

Surprise! The best mentors? Often the ones who failed the most and never made headlines.

Three things you need to be ready for:

1. Be open to learning – If you cannot listen, no mentor can help. Keep an open mind.

2. Seek value, not fame – The best mentor isn’t necessarily the most famous but the one who genuinely wants to see you grow.

3. Be proactive – The first step is yours. Find them, reach out, and show commitment. If you are passive, you’re just a "waste of time" in a real mentor’s eyes.

First, let’s bust a myth: Your idol is NOT your mentor.

Just because you worship someone doesn’t mean they’re guiding you. Crushing on Virat Kohli’s aggression, or Elon Musk’s unabashed audacity doesn’t magically make you their protégé.

Admiration is passive; mentorship is active, interactive, and brutally real. Finding the right mentor? Not easy.

I have seen many people mirror their idols, and expect that they'll match their capabilities, and that’s not how it works. Here’s what does:

Seven signs of a great mentor (learned from the feedback from my own mentees)

1. 0% sugarcoating, 100% tough love
A mentor doesn’t sympathise — they boot you on constantly, when you make excuses.

2. It’s never "enough"
A real mentor constantly challenges you to improve and never lets you stay comfortable.

3. No stories, just real-life experiences
“This is how I failed, this is what works.” No fluff, only battle-tested lessons.

4. Not just useless gyaan, but demands action
A mentor holds you accountable because motivation fades — discipline lasts.

5. Sees your blind spots
Like Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side, a mentor sees what you don’t — both your strengths and weaknesses — and makes you aware.

6. "Walks the Walk", not just, "Talks the Talk"
A mentor doesn’t just stand by your wins — they stick with you when you’re struggling.

7. The 3C philosophy: Constantly challenge comfort
Growth is painful, and real mentors push you out of your comfort zone.

1. Your brain is wired for modelling
Ever heard of mirror neurons? These fire up both when you act and when you observe others. That’s why babies mimic adults — and why having a mentor literally rewires your brain to function like theirs.

2. Decision fatigue is real
The average person makes 35,000 decisions a day — from emails to life choices. A mentor cuts through the clutter, helping you avoid unnecessary mistakes and mental exhaustion.

3. Psychological safety = Faster growth
Harvard research shows people thrive in environments where they can fail without fear. A great mentor creates this safe space, pushing you to experiment while holding you accountable.

Not every mentor is the right one. Watch out for these 

1. They only talk about themselves – If every convo starts and ends with their achievements, you’re an audience, not a mentee.

2. They don’t walk the talk – If their career, habits, or mindset is a mess, what exactly are they teaching you?

3. They discourage independence – A great mentor builds your confidence and decision-making skills, not your dependence on them.

4. They’re credit-hungry – If they constantly claim credit for your success, run. Mentors guide, not steal the spotlight.

(Even if you don’t have a Yuvraj Singh in your Life)

1. Look around – The best mentor might already be in your circle — a boss, professor, or friend.

2. Leverage technology – LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube — goldmines of wisdom. Engage, connect, and consume their content like a disciple.

3. Invest in paid coaching – Free mentorship? Rare. Sometimes, the fastest growth comes from paid structured guidance.

4. Be a great mentee first – The best way to attract mentors? Show eagerness, discipline, and initiative. Prove you’re worth their time.

The best mentors don’t hold your hand forever — they prepare you to stand on your own.

Your goal? Absorb their wisdom, apply it, and eventually outgrow the need for constant validation.

So, if you don’t have a mentor yet, start looking. And if you do, express gratitude. Because the right mentor doesn’t just shape your career — they shape your mindset, resilience, and success.

Find your guiding light, and success will never feel out of reach.

With relentless passion,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
Your No-Nonsense Mentor & Coach, Always!