I'm not my usual sassy, humorous or cool self this week as I'm touching upon a topic that's really serious!
Our team had recently reported about an incident in which a female MBA student was blackmailed by her Instagram friends over her explicit videos, the recording of which she had consented to.
The first thing that really made my heart sink is, thinking about the trouble this woman has landed in. I have seen enough to empathise with such victims and it's quite shocking when you realise, how systematically the predators operate.
Another important column that I'd like all of you to read is the one about the Pollachi Sex Scandal, link below: http://epaper.newindianexpress.com/m5/2081936/EDEX/25-03-2019#dual/13/1
So, how do you wiggle yourself out of blackmail? What do you do?
Assess the situation and prepare yourself for the blowback
Yes! It's a no-brainer, but what we generally miss is taking a step back to understand and evaluate the extent of the threat and the material the blackmailer possesses. Once we determine whether the threat is credible, its effects and the damage that it might create is when we can strategise accordingly, prepare for the blowback and plan for damage control.
For example, if someone's threatening to reveal something to your parents, beat them to the chase and do it first. It will be unpleasant but you'll be getting the support you need when the time comes.
Neutralise threats
Not only do I advise neutralising threats that you assessed, but also emphasise neutralising "perceived threats" too. In situations like these, there is no way of being certain of what might make the situation worse.
Hence, it's always better to go on an offensive rather than feeling embarrassed and being defensive. But it does take a lot of courage and you need to pull up your socks. Think of the larger picture rather than feeling jittery about the issues that you'll have to deal with in the near future.
Document, preserve and store
Whether you're at fault or not, whether it's embarrassing or not, ensure that you preserve all communication, document each and everything and store as much as you can. I'm referring to chats, messages, emails and anything else that can be considered proof and can serve as evidence.
I'm again emphasising the fact that, even if it's your fault or puts you in an uncomfortable and embarrassing situation, it's okay! This is what will give you a permanent solution though it might be a nightmare temporarily.
There are a lot of Good Samaritans out there. But will you find the one?
If you are feeling helpless and are unable to find the support you need, then you'll have to do some digging and do some research to find out non-government organisations (NGOs), government bodies, individual activists or other social welfare organisations that are providing assistance for victims.
Also, ensure that you don't divulge all the details right away and only do so once you feel confident that you have approached the right people. Do your best to get some information from credible sources about the person/organisation that you plan on approaching.
An eye for an eye? Employ a private eye...
This requires resources to an extent but has helped in many cases. Blackmailers usually have several skeletons in their closet or are habitual offenders. There are many private investigators and security agencies that offer similar services to help you get a detailed background check.
This will help you get information about the blackmailer and if they have been repeatedly doing this, you can bring a lot of heat on them legally. But be wary enough to approach an agency that's reputed and credible. Involve a lawyer to ensure that you're protected in all aspects.
Get a law expert to protect yourself from the outlaw
Getting legal guidance is of paramount importance. If you have access to a good lawyer, you can do a lot to minimise the damage and also ensure that you're not only protected by the law but are also rightfully compensated too. There are many who even offer their services pro bono. But having someone who is well known to you and your family or is trustworthy enough to protect your interests whilst representing you legally will be the best thing that can happen to you.
Do your best to find someone reliable, genuine and who has prior experience in dealing with such cases.
Last but not the least, please ensure that you do not give someone a chance to blackmail you in the first place. I'm not contradicting myself, I'm sincerely begging you all with folded hands to be more aware and fight the heart and listen to your brain. People end up in such situations mainly because of emotional decisions, it's not wrong but when our self-preservation is being threatened. Forget everything else, rationalise and always be safe.
With lots of concern and praying that you'll never have to face such a situation,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
"Your Coach"
