In societies around the world, the roles and expectations associated with men and women have long been shaped by tradition and culture. In India, like much of Southeast Asia, we are no strangers to this dynamic. While our nation has made considerable progress toward empowering women, much of our societal structure still reflects patriarchal norms.
For generations, traits like decisiveness, ambition, and a results-oriented mindset have been seen as masculine, while empathy, collaboration, and process-oriented thinking have been labelled as feminine. However, these distinctions can limit our understanding of human potential. Both sets of qualities, often oversimplified along gender lines, are crucial for personal and collective growth.
To illustrate this, think of how we enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. It’s not just about the caffeine or theine coursing through our veins — it’s the pleasure of the experience itself, the warmth of the cup, the ritual of sipping slowly. This analogy highlights the balance between focusing on outcomes and appreciating the process.
Psychologists like Carl Jung recognised that individuals approach life in varied ways. His work laid the foundation for personality models like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and DISC, which examine traits without strictly associating them with gender.
As I step into the shoes of a Chevening scholar, I reflect on my own journey. As a man, I’ve often been driven by a focus on results and efficiency — traits traditionally viewed as masculine. But I’m learning to embrace the feminine qualities of enjoying the process, valuing experiences, and connecting with others. It’s a shift that’s enriching both my perspective and my approach to life.
In my previous article, I shared how the unwavering support of family and mentors played a crucial role in uplifting my morale and guiding me through my journey to NITI Aayog and eventually my decision to pursue a Master’s on a Chevening Scholarship. For clarity, they form what I consider my personal and strategic network. However, this article focuses on another invaluable part of my life — my operational network, especially the impact of friends.
While I was immersed in managing the challenges of my start-up, it was one of my closest friends who first drew my attention to an opening at NITI Aayog. This simple yet pivotal moment led me to apply for the position, and I was selected to join the Development Monitoring and Evaluation Office (DMEO), NITI’s Monitoring & Evaluation (M&E) division.
As an engineer turned entrepreneur, my strengths initially lay in technology and execution. But thanks to the patient support of my colleagues, who helped me navigate the nuances of monitoring and evaluation, I not only survived but also thrived in the role, earning the appreciation of the Director General, DMEO.
Later, as various verticals at NITI faced human resource shortages, I was transferred to the Electric Vehicle (EV) vertical, reporting directly to the Adviser, e-Mobility, amidst pressing deadlines. The fast-paced environment brought new challenges and continuous learning opportunities. This vertical collaborates extensively with partners like WRI, RMI, and ICCT.
Reflecting on that time, I realise it was the camaraderie and encouragement of friends within these partner organizations that made all the difference. Despite resource constraints, we were able to deliver results, and their support was instrumental in my learning curve, earning further appreciation from the Adviser.
Now, as part of this year's Chevening cohort, comprising 38 scholars with an almost even male-to-female ratio, I’ve come to appreciate the strength of our collective journey. Although we are headed to different universities, around six of us are bound for University College London (UCL), forming a tighter group within the larger cohort.
Moving to another country inevitably brings its own set of challenges. For some, the visa application process was particularly stressful, as many non-Chevening applicants faced weeks of delays and additional queries. However, within our cohort, we supported each other by sharing best practices to avoid potential pitfalls.
Even for something as specific as carrying prescription medicines, we leveraged our network, reaching out to doctors within our community to expedite medical consultations, and ensuring those who needed medicines for travel were properly prepared.
Finding accommodation, especially in London during peak student season, posed another hurdle. For those still searching for a place, some of us offered temporary stays to help ease their anxiety, which fostered a sense of camaraderie.
Meeting at the British Commission in Delhi before our departure helped solidify these connections, and we realised we were all in this together. For those travelling later, we even carried along some essential items for earlier arrivals, continuing the cycle of support.
Upon arriving in London, we each encountered different stages of cultural adjustment. As a South Asian, I can vouch for the difficulty of adapting to the food, which is just one small part of the overall shift. Additionally, transitioning from professional life back to being a student takes time.
Among those of us at UCL, we began cooking meals together, combining resources from home with local ingredients, which became a way to support each other. We also invited one another to departmental events whenever possible, especially when meals were offered.
Navigating London's public transport system was another early challenge. The intricate network of tubes and buses, with its different fare structures, is unlike what many of us were used to in Asia. But every other day, a few of us would discover a route to stores, our target shops and the university and would share best-optimised routes and together, we figured it out, gradually becoming more comfortable with our new surroundings.
Fortunately, I chose to stay in university accommodation, which placed me among fellow UCL students. This accommodation has its own vibrant community, and we frequently organise social gatherings, making it easier for everyone to meet and connect. To my delight, I discovered three fellow Chevening scholars in my Entrepreneurship programme, apart from one I already knew from India. The others hail from Pakistan, Jordan, and Zimbabwe.
We instantly connected, and on a lighter note, despite the well-known India-Pakistan rivalry, we bonded over shared challenges — especially our collective hunt for spices in London, which, as it turns out, is no easy task! It was in moments like these that I truly began to appreciate the long-lasting impact of Chevening. As we face similar struggles, we realize that we’re not alone, and that many challenges can be resolved through mutual support.
Now, as I complete my first week in London, I’ve already met more people from different countries than I did in the past year. We often gather in the shared kitchen for lunch or dinner, using this time to get to know each other better, share resources, and help one another settle in before classes begin. We also attend various welcome parties together, and although not everyone speaks perfect English, there’s a genuine effort to understand each other’s intent rather than just the words spoken.
As someone exposed to an international community for the first time, I’ve been struck by how essential diversity is to true prosperity. Problems that may seem overwhelming in isolation are often resolved through collective learning and the exchange of experiences. It’s a powerful reminder of how enriching diversity can be in our personal and academic journeys.
Amid all these experiences, I’ve come to understand the value of embracing both masculine and feminine qualities. Just as I’ve been learning to adopt more feminine traits like empathy, collaboration, and enjoying the process, I believe those with predominantly feminine characteristics can benefit from incorporating masculine traits like decisiveness and results orientation.
With this awareness, I’ve promised myself that my experience during this Master’s will be different from my undergraduate years at NIT. This time, it’s not just about academic achievements; it’s about the incredible people around me, the shared experiences, and the collective process of growth. It’s about fostering cooperation rather than focusing on competition.
Interestingly, this shift in mindset aligns with what psychologists refer to as the emergence of collective intelligence — the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Somewhere in the balance of these masculine and feminine qualities lies true leadership. And in harnessing the power of collective intelligence, we discover the real essence of networking — building meaningful connections that amplify individual strengths into something much greater.
