E-Canteen Fundas: Detaching yourselves from outcomes can be so liberating for you and your team 

‘Rinku, your basketball team pulled off a sensational win yesterday,’ said Rahul. ‘And that too without your charismatic captain, Tanya.’

‘Thanks, Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘We all gave our best. Even our weakest players gave their best yesterday.’

‘Wow,’ said Rakesh. ‘Looks like a case of a secure leader in charge. Who was the captain yesterday?’

‘Really?’ said Rinku. ‘But you’re right, we played better under Swati yesterday and won a match we would have lost otherwise. On the other hand, under our regular captain, Tanya, we’ve been losing games we should have won easily.’

‘Maybe Swati is a better motivator than Tanya,’ said Rahul. ‘A better strategist. Maybe more intense, involved and charismatic. Right?’

‘Not really,’ said Rinku. ‘Tanya is very active, intense and energetic. No one can question her commitment to win. She has a tough work ethic and drives us all to be as good as her. She’s fully involved, ticks all the leadership boxes — set a common purpose, roles, goals, communication…everything’s done and double-checked. But when it comes to the matches, we perform way below our potential. I feel bad for her.’

‘When the result’s not what we want, then something’s wrong with the process,’ said Rakesh. ‘And if the process has been followed and all boxes ticked, then some qualitative aspect of leadership is missing. But first, let’s see what Swati did as a leader to get your best performances and pull off a sensational win.’

‘That’s the weird part, bhaiyya,’ said Rinku, drinking her cold coffee. ‘Swati almost did nothing. No big speeches, no intense activity and no emotional outbursts. She gave some basic pointers like we should all give our best and look to win and left us alone. I almost felt like she wasn’t there.’

‘And you gave your best performance for her?’ asked Rahul.

‘Yes,’ said Rinku. ‘I felt I had to do something. Like it’s my job too and not just hers. I think I did it for myself, for the team. Swati wasn’t giving instructions for every ball. She allowed us to do things our way. We intuitively did what we had trained to, as individuals and as a team. Even when it looked like we were losing, she was not agitated; like we were doing our best and let’s see. And then, the most unexpected person would do something brilliant and we’d be back in the game. How, bhaiyya?’

‘Rinku,’ said Rakesh. ‘It looks like under Tanya’s leadership, there’s too much pressure on the team. She’s everywhere, doing everything, including your jobs — micromanaging and getting into your space. Your entire team is always looking for her approval, to hold her scattered, insecure energy when, in fact, it should be the other way round — she should be holding your energy. People cannot perform to potential under so much pressure.’

‘But Tanya has the best of intentions,’ said Rinku. ‘She wants the team to win badly.’

‘But that’s not getting results,’ said Rakesh. ‘In fact, her extreme attachment to the outcome is harming the team — putting pressure on everyone which is why you’re losing games. You know she’ll be upset if you don’t do things the way she wants it and are not able to perform as you’re trained to do.’

‘And Swati’s getting their best performances by doing nothing?’ asked Rahul. ‘What kind of leadership is that?’

‘The best kind,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘By not being attached to the result she took the pressure off the team. She wants to win, mind you, and also knows that to win, she needs to get the best out of the team, to keep them in a state of ‘relaxed concentration'. Stress comes from being attached to the outcome. It seeps from the leader to the team. So, Swati focused on the process — created space for team members to figure out how to give their best and to own their process. They found ways to perform to their potential. You get better performances that way than by keeping the team under constant and intense pressure.’

‘But the team has to win, right bhaiyya?’ said Rahul. ‘How can she not be attached to wanting to win?’

‘Rahul, when our process or attachment is not getting the results we want, it’s time to understand that it’s not working,’ said Rakesh. ‘The best way is when everyone in the team feels they’re doing it for themselves and give their best willingly, freely and enthusiastically. Like Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said — ‘A leader is best when people barely know he exists; when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves.’ A true leader empowers her people and gets them to give their best — by making them feel like they own it.’

‘Hmm,’ said Rinku. ‘Any lessons that Tanya can learn from this, bhaiyya?’

‘Not just Tanya, but all of us can learn from this,’ said Rakesh. ‘Our attachment to the outcome makes us want to control the process — which comes from our insecurity. We must learn to let go of control and trust the team to do what it has trained to do in its own way. We need to facilitate the best environment to empower each member. Tanya needs to cut the invisible cord she has tied to each one of you, pulling at you like puppets, to control you. She must allow you to perform in your way without her interference. A secure leader does not try to control the process and is fine with all outcomes resulting in empowered people, less work for the leader, less stress all around and much better results.’

‘Wow,’ said Rinku. ‘Cut our cords to empower our team.’

Pro Tip: To get the best from your team, cut your attachment to the outcome and stop controlling the process. This interference puts unnecessary pressure on the team and hampers performance.