Bhaiyya, Rinku’s very upset today,’ said Rahul. ‘She yelled at everyone, including me.’
‘Wow,’ said Rakesh. ‘What triggered it, Rinku?’
‘Don’t know, bhaiyya,’ said Rinku. ‘Just lost it.’
‘It helps to identify your emotions and feelings to deal with them better,’ said Rakesh. ‘Let’s check. How’re you both feeling now?’
‘Bad,’ said Rinku.
‘Good,’ said Rahul.
‘You need to do better than feeling ‘good’ or ‘bad’ if you want to develop your emotional intelligence,’ smiled Rakesh.
‘What’s emotional intelligence, bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.
‘Emotional Intelligence is your ability to identify, express and manage emotions,’ said Rakesh. ‘It helps you manage yourself and your relationships effectively instead of getting hijacked by your emotions. Emotionally intelligent people are aware, adaptable, positive, empathetic and achievement-oriented.’
‘Wow, how do we develop our emotional intelligence, bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.
‘First, understand what emotions and feelings are about,’ said Rakesh. ‘Emotions are non-conscious, physical reactions. Feelings, on the other hand, are conscious, mental experiences triggered by emotions attached to your memories and thoughts.’
‘I didn’t know that,’ said Rinku.
‘Since we aren’t encouraged to feel our emotions and feelings, we don’t even know them, much less deal with them,’ said Rakesh. ‘Identifying your emotions is the first step towards improving your emotional intelligence.’
‘But why manage emotions, bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.
‘Because if you don’t, your emotions control you,’ said Rakesh. ‘They hijack your reactions and can mess up your relationships, your decision-making, your behaviour, energy and health.’
‘How can we manage our emotions, bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.
‘Next time you’re upset, identify and ‘feel’ your emotion,’ said Rakesh. ‘By acknowledging and accepting your emotion, you’ve responded consciously. You’ve broken the unconscious reaction and managed your emotion. Managing emotions frees up energy and helps you achieve challenging personal and team goals efficiently. That’s why emotional intelligence is considered a key competency in successful people.’
Pro Tip: Improving your emotional intelligence helps you manage your personal and social life effectively, leading to healthy relationships, higher productivity and better quality of life.
