The national-level entrance examination is such a period when students put in their time and effort to direct their life towards something substantial. Such a situation is to be handled with a great deal of positivity and self-confidence yet, doubts start appearing on the horizon when uncertainty trickles in. Many students give up and that is when things go downhill.
Reach out, speak up
Dr Saras Bhaskar, Counseling Psychologist and Founder of Professional Counseling Services, Chennai, stated, “Tasks taken up with fear are not positive emotions. While the preparations are ongoing, having a parallel thought of negativity might bar the students from performing better. Grappling with self-defeating thoughts is quite important, they must not want to 'BE' the best but 'DO' the best, where one must focus on actions and not the outcome.”
The counselling psychologist also urges, “One must always have positive influences around and speak to a mentor or a professional life coach. Reaching out is quite important and remember that you are not alone in this journey. Building resilience with help from family and professionals is what one can do in stressful times.”
As Dr Bhaskar states that to do away with negativity is what one can do to cope with failure, it would be fruitful to have a better perspective towards situations and reach out for help when required. Voicing one’s problems rather than channelling the angst in a violent form would only exacerbate the situation and not lessen it.
Parents and their role
Dr Om Prakash, Professor (Psychiatry), Senior Consultant in Adult & Geriatric Psychiatry, Institute of Human Behaviour and Allied Sciences (IHBAS), New Delhi, sheds light on the role of parents and how they can be an antecedent for positive reinforcement for a student.
The professor says, “Parental role and guidance are crucial when it comes to directing kids to choose their career. It is important to emphasise where the student’s inclination lies. As the hype is already there for NEET, societal pressure adds more to the existing mental issues of the students hence, they take the task upon themselves to prove their self-worth through such exams. There are helplines available like Tele MANAS yet students fear approaching them.”
Acceptance plays a great role in shaping a student’s style of thinking. Few students after experiencing failure dissociate from reality and feel a sense of purposelessness. But experts can vouch that such a thought could never bear fruition. Self-development is a journey that one has to traverse throughout their life and if one fails to qualify, that is just a minor glitch to a long path with innumerable opportunities waiting to be explored.
Healthy and constant communication is vital
Dr Poorna Chandrika, former director and professor at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), Chennai urges parents to maintain healthy communication with their wards to give them a sense of clarity about the situation.
Dr Chandrika says, “There are an array of life goals and ambitions of a student yet, I feel, parents must relay valid information to their kids and let them know the reality. Acceptance is a must that failure is just a part of it and there are other avenues available. Schools have a major role to play where they can sensitise parents and students alike on the matter. They can also take steps to ensure that the low-performing students are taken great care of and given proper guidance by the authorities. One can also seek help from the helpline numbers.”
She also voices her opinion on how there is external help available such as Tele MANAS, what one can do is simply reach out. Trying is hard but never trying and not asking for help would later be nothing but an act that one might regret later.
Dr Anamika Sahu, Assistant Professor, National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS), Bengaluru, laid emphasis on an individual's efforts. It is quite important to introspect within and find out where one may be going wrong. It may be taxing for some yet it might help a person to develop a profound sense of their abilities and help them transparently think about their future rather than having thoughts of self-doubt.
In conversation with our correspondent, she says, "Students mostly do not value their efforts and start taking everything personally." She further adds, "There are possibilities of failure since it is a competitive exam and students start focusing on their weaknesses. Comparing their progress with others is bound to sabotage their mental state."
Difficulty and more
When one fails to clear an exam considered rather difficult, one dwells on the impossibilities rather than what is possible and attainable. She advises the younger generation that, "It is important to reward yourself and acknowledge your efforts. Students may take longer breaks and rejuvenate themselves by watching their favourite cartoon or pursuing their favourite hobbies."
She also stresses the need to have an action plan, she suggests doing a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats) analysis and making a list of their internal strength and weaknesses and what can help shape their future in a more systematic way.
"Stress is a major hindrance for situations as such hence it is always a good option to connect with the immediate environment and not isolate themselves. Socializing with people and getting involved in activities such as sports, yoga and meditation will prove fruitful."
Therefore, it is quite important to look ahead with a sense of understanding that there are innumerable ways where one can plan, assess and enact accordingly to the given situation. To be fluid is what the experts suggest and this is what one can do to cope with failure after appearing for such examinations.
