Slow Clap: Why Holi is holy and Indians don't need detergent

Holi is not considered daag. It is holy and the colours are put there (and everywhere, really) intentionally. The multinational companies will never understand that. Putting Hindustan before your company name does not make you Indian. This is why I believe that our brothers all around the country have done the right thing by boycotting detergent. We should use only what is given to us by our saints and which is traditional. That is only right.

The washing powder ad that has drawn the attention of the nation — from irrelevant discussions on whether the airstrikes (surgical strike #2 aka Uri 2) was fake and whether Abhinandan's return is being politicised — was released the same day the pilot was captured by the Pakistanis. Coincidence much?

The ad, like several brothers have pointed out, blatantly promotes love jihad. Why couldn't they make the little girl who was being protected by a brave young Hindu boy, a Muslim, instead of the other way round? Or perhaps have a big Hindu girl protect a scrawny Muslim lad? This would be more appropriate and nationalistic, even if it doesn't address issues like love jihad in the right tone. 

One should know their audience before producing content. After all, they are not the only company making surf. All detergents are Surf. We don't need this Multilever harassment. We have Pattajali Surf also. Mr Amdani will surely start making surf if his country needs him. And he can give it to us for free. Like mobile data, which according to Shri Piyush Goyal ji, we are now the largest users of in the whole, wide world. What we are watching with that data is a whole other story though.

Let's be clear on one point. Indians are all for communal harmony. Whatever that means. We will accept whoever wants to be with us. We are willing to embrace them with lal tika, garlands and prasad. But we won't tolerate it if our religion and our values are ridiculed by some advertisement.

We are a country of good values and we are moving towards development. But we will never forget our roots. We are not like some of the people who are trying to defame our leader by calling all his moves political moves. And he will serve us like a fakir.

(The views expressed are the author's own. At most times, the views are far removed from reality and can be mildly hallucinatory. If they are not, we recommend you visit a trained practitioner of Indian medicine immediately)