Hey, student champions and parent cheerleaders!
I'm pretty sure that you would have had the same thoughts as I did if you too were scrolling through your social media feeds: "Did I somehow stumble into a parallel universe...?"
On one hand, a Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) Class 12 student shares his 84% result, and his dad's tiny word of encouragement, the word — “Good.”
On the other hand, proud parents of a Class 12 boy in Delhi go on a different spree — ordering 96 cakes to match his 96%. Minimalist or maximalist, these gestures have one thing in common: they’re declarations of love louder than any lecture on merit.
But beneath these viral snapshots, and cake avalanches, lies a deeper story — a generational cycle of pressure, perfectionism, and, too often, disappointment.
Many of us grew up in households where marks dictated mood swings, and an “A” was the only applause worth having.
Today’s young minds carry that emotional baggage into exam season, waiting for parental validation, like it’s the final stage in a video game, without any hacks or cheat codes to make it easier.
The question is...how can today’s parents flip the script and become the unshakeable pillar of support, motivation, and everything else that their kids crave, especially when emotions are already running higher than the temperatures in the Thar Desert?
1) Swap scoreboards for storyboards
Dear parents, trust me on this. Instead of fixating on percentages, ask about your kid's journey behind the numbers. “Tell me about the questions that surprised you and why" would be way more illuminating than, “Why didn’t you get 90?”
This shift signals you care about their experiences, are open to understanding their challenges, and aren't just worried about their scores.
2) Praise effort, not just outcome
Especially in today's world wherein all aspects of our lives has become hopelessly competitive, we all need that appreciation once in a while to keep going.
Even the latest research in child psychology shows that celebrating persistence builds resilience. Point out late-night study sprints, creative problem-solving, or teamwork with classmates. A simple “I saw how hard you worked” can mean more than any cake bonanza — or a curt “Good.”
3) Normalise those ‘Oops’ moments — To err is human, is it not?
We've all been there and done that, and the best thing to do is to introduce family anecdotes where you stumbled and bounced back. Maybe you bombed your first job interview, or flunked a critical exam — own those stories and show that it is okay.
When parents model vulnerability, children learn that failure is a pit stop, not a destination.
4) Create a ‘safe zone’ debrief — Feeling secure matters!
Ensure that post-result pep talks don't feel like interrogations. Instead, carve out a ritual — a post-result walk, a cup of chai together, or a cup of ice cream. The goal is emotional calibration, not academic audit, and certainly not punishing in any way. That's only going to make things worse.
5) From comparison to compassion
Scrolling through classmates’ social media-win stories can be brutal. As parents, you need to understand that your kids would've already researched enough about who scored how much marks. Duplicating the exercise and rubbing it in their faces only makes it worse. Instead, lead by example: avoid comparing your child to siblings or peers.
Instead, highlight each kid’s unique strengths — interpersonal skills, creativity, and leadership, and celebrate them.
Breaking the generational cycle isn’t about overhauling your entire parenting playbook overnight, and trust me, that's not a realistic possibility, either. But we all have to begin somewhere, and the small, intentional tweaks.
When you support the effort, resilience, and prioritise emotional health, you become the kind of guardian that every student desperately needs. At the end of the day, whether you reply with one word or order a hundred cakes, it’s the invisible pillar of unwavering support that truly makes the grade.
With regards,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
Your unshakeable pillar for real talk
