Wassup folks? Hope y'all had a wonderful Diwali.
Recently, a young job-seeker made headlines by sending a handwritten letter to a top Swiggy executive. In a world where applications are digital and automated, his analogue approach didn’t just stand out — it resonated. When everyone else takes the well-trodden path, it takes courage (and actually a bit of clever thinking) to carve a new one which is also sometimes the road less travelled.
This brings us to the billion-dollar question: How can you find your light, polish it, and project it in ways that are memorable and effective?
So, here are my best tried and tested tips over the years to become "outstanding" and "stand out" in a saturated world.
The foundation: Prepare yourself and set the mindset
My mantra has always been, 'Stand out loud, Stand out proud...' and that is when you will stand out from the crowd! So remember, becoming your best unconventional self in a highly competitive world requires you to first, believe in yourself and secondly, not get affected by what others think.
Of course, while staying within the limits of social norms...
Flip your flaw, keep it raw!
The one thing that is quite evident but is not finding public acceptance is the simple fact that we have come to a stage of becoming "overly pretentious" and it's become a norm!
But what about the raw, unfiltered, and deep relationships that we can establish with others? Remember those quirky traits you are hiding? They are pure gold.
Studies from the Journal of Applied Psychology reveal that being true to your idiosyncrasies makes you more relatable and memorable. So, don’t tuck away your unconventional interests or unusual skills — they’re part of what makes you unforgettable.
"About Me": Show the YOU who you are!
When someone asks you to describe yourself, what would you answer
Would your answers be in accordance with what others want of you, or would you pour your heart out in describing who you really are?
Say, when you create an “About Me” section on your resume or portfolio, do you keep it "professional" yet don't shy away from embracing your quirks?
It's not just writing about what you do, but all about...how you do it differently.
Be bold yet don't lose your finesse, whether it’s using humour, sharing a surprising hobby, or detailing a unique approach you take to problem-solving, it has to resonate with YOU. That's the secret sauce, trust me!
For the love of "analogue" gestures in this overly saturated "digital" world
Yes! We are all living in the digital era, but there’s a reason a personal touch still wows people. Call it "old school", "retro" or whatever you want, but research shows that personalised gestures (like handwritten notes) activate more emotional responses than digital messages, making recipients more likely to remember you.
Going analogue isn’t just retro — it’s revolutionary. In my case, I ensure I even take permission and then always give a warm hug! The connection that it creates is no less than a Kismet Konnection!
Bonus Tip: I have to thank my mother Dr Asha Benakappa for inculcating this habit in me. After a meeting, get-together, job interview, or any gathering, make it a point to send a short, handwritten thank-you note or even a thank-you card, which my mother would always have stock of, without fail...
I won't say what will happen when you do, just do it! Experience it! And then write to me. If you are a virtual being, a well-crafted email with a personalised, non-generic subject line will do.
Network, but don’t be a networking robot
I had recently written about the power of networking and had referred to it as "Networking Nirvana" as that's how amazing it is.
But!...
Every aspect of life has to have balance, too much is too bad, right?
The point I'm trying to emphasise is networking is less about quantity and more about meaningful connections. Trust me, I've been there...and from having 1,000 acquaintances whom I had mistaken for best friends, today, I've come down to about 10 best friends though... through them, I have reached a million!
How? These ten best friends have the strongest bond with me. These best friends have nine others like me in their life and those nine chaps have 10 pals each... Get the drift?
Research also shows that people remember those who lead with empathy and genuine interest, not those who talk endlessly about their own achievements.
Take the “serve first” approach: Offer value before asking for it. I'm built this way and can't help it, so I always am selflessly ready to serve and if you ask the people who know me, that's actually what's made me "Special" in their lives.
Redefine rejection as a valuable learning, a challenge is a blessing in itself
Being different wouldn't necessarily guarantee you cent per cent success every time, remember that.
Handling rejection is quite a challenge. It stings us emotionally simply because rejection feels too personal, but what has helped me cope with it is just looking at it from a different perspective.
Once I started looking at it strictly like a computer programmer, I realised that it’s just information — or rather data on what is not aligning with me, or those areas where I need to grow. This made it more exciting, and rather than feeling depressed it was like a "debugging" journey that I embarked upon.
All of it is not a bed of roses, a few things just don't work, and that's when you need to accept the rejection. Even psychologists suggest re-evaluating rejection through a growth mindset. Each “no” nudges you closer to refining your path or honing your skills.
Use your values as a GPS
One of my most repetitive mantras is, "We're all lucky to have been gifted with a navigation system by God: Conscience. We are all equally unlucky as we follow a different map: Societal and peer pressure!"
I say this and emphasise this, simply because we fail to realise that ethics and values are our compasses, which guide us towards choices that align with who we truly are, but we are usually more focused on what others around us want or try to "fit in" in a manner that others think we should.
Psychologists confirm that people who base decisions on core values tend to experience greater job satisfaction and resilience in tough times but wait...How is this related to today's topic?
One of the most effective ways that you build "organic" influence, which motivates others around you to be your "silent and secret" admirers, is when you exhibit these traits. It might not make you gain thousands of followers online but you are sure to be a rockstar where it matters.
Vulnerability is the most underrated superpower!
Before I proceed, a very important disclaimer: Trying to invoke sympathy by exhibiting vulnerability is the worst thing that you can do and is just a manipulative technique.
True confidence is not about being flawless; it’s about exhibiting your vulnerabilities and being honest.
Studies have also shown that vulnerability fosters deeper human connections and trust, making you more likeable and relatable. It makes you more humane and literally helps in creating bonds, after all, "To err is Human".
If you are not afraid to share a misstep or a lesson learned, you will foster connections that are genuine and deep, or else almost every interaction becomes transactional.
As I sign off today, I would like to leave you all with an important lesson that I have learned especially after engaging with the LGBTQIA+ community. In a world where conformity is the easy way out, staying true to yourself — your quirks, values, and goals — creates a light that not only sets you apart but draws the right opportunities and people to you.
It's not just about coming out of the closet or building that level of confidence to feel that you can finally be yourself, it's all about realising that finding success isn’t about fitting in; it’s about standing tall, being unfiltered, loving yourself and being unapologetically "you".
With regards,
Your Unfiltered Coach,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj.
