Soch with the Coach: Keeping it classy! How to deliberate, debate, and discuss amidst NEET hullabaloo

Fights, brawls, shouting, violence and noise — everywhere! But are you articulating your thoughts well? Are you able to say what you intend to, or what you intend to say is getting lost? Coach AB talks about panache, poise and more importantly, how to effectively raise your voice while being mindful of all those fine qualities
Can you keep it classy with your speech?
Can you keep it classy with your speech?(Source: EdexLive Desk)

Recently, in the vibrant corridors of the Rajya Sabha and Lok Sabha, tempers flared as leaders clashed over the National Eligibility and Entrance Test (NEET) issue. But, amidst these passionate protests, there's one essential aspect that I could not ignore, which is, decorum.

No matter how fired up or excited we are, reading the room is very crucial. This entails respecting the rules and dignity of the forum, as well as, maintaining decorum as this is crucial to getting our points across and advancing our cause. Here is some sassy but savvy advice on how to maintain it, backed by psychological insights and my personal experience.

The importance and glamour of decorum
Decorum refers to the proper behaviour, speech, and etiquette that align with the norms and rules of any formal setting. 

But it isn't just about playing nice and acting dignified; it's about an exhibition of your arguments with style, substance, and mainly, integrity. It's the elegant dance of diplomacy that turns heated arguments into meaningful discussions. Think of a rowdy brawl between people and an argument put forth with lots of passion and understanding, which one do you think would be communicated better?

Style, Substance, and Integrity is the need.
Style, Substance, and Integrity is the need. (Pic: EdexLive Desk)

'PPP' — Put your Point across with Panache
Panache is your individualistic style and a flair for doing things with a swag. How to bring out your panache then? Here is a set of my mantras that you can lend an ear to.

Go out with style!
Go out with style!(Pic: EdexLive Desk)

1. "See with C" — Clarity and Composure:

Do you need clarity while speaking?
Do you need clarity while speaking?(Pic: EdexLive Desk)

Before even putting across any point, you need to be very clear in your head and should be able to see or visualise what message you are planning to convey with utmost clarity. Once you are clear about your vision, the next step is to speak clearly and the most important "secret sauce" is to stay calm. 

Even if you are bursting with passion, a cool demeanour keeps your audience focused on your message, or else, they shall only focus on your anger and meltdown and when this happens, the entire message is lost.

Coach's Tip: Practice deep breathing techniques. Taking a few deep breaths before speaking can calm your nerves, help you think more clearly, and maintain your cool.

2. Listen! We have "two" ears for a reason:

You may have to listen intently as well.
You may have to listen intently as well.(Pic: EdexLive Desk)

Yes! This is one of my favourite analogies, we have two ears and one mouth so, what should we do in difficult situations? We ought to listen twice the amount of how much we speak. I am referring to not just listening but actively listening. 

Tuning in to what others are saying, nodding, and giving non-verbal acknowledgements to their points before you counter, not only makes you look gracious and intelligent but will also subconsciously make others listen to you rather than just hear you. 

It's all about that mutual respect and it's a two-way street.

Coach's Tip: The best way to practice active listening is to listen to short videos and repeat what you remember. Active listening also triggers positive emotions in the one who is speaking, making them feel valued and understood, which helps in building rapport.

3. Ditch the drama, stick to the facts:

Facts are fun!
Facts are fun!(Pic: EdexLive Desk)

Emotional outbursts might grab attention, but well-researched arguments win the day. It has also been observed that most fiery outbursts, without any facts, have led to reputations being tarnished and the person being branded as an 'empty vessel' which makes noise and nothing else.

Coach's Tip: Take rest and use the “R-E-S-T”: Research, Evidence, Structure, and Tone. Ensure your points are well-researched, backed by evidence, well-structured, and delivered in a calm tone, irrespective of the context and content.

All this is fine... But about the others?
Well, there's only so much any of us can do and we're definitely not God, but that doesn't mean we are ill-equipped to deal with situations where. others don't play by the rules. So here are a few tips:

1. Do not lose your cool
Keeping your poise exhibits a very strong personality trait: Balance! Your grace under pressure can inspire others to rise to your level and always remember, the more the opposite party tries to instigate you and fails, the more respect you garner in the forum.

2. Smooth Criminal: Address things as smoothly as possible
It is very important to ensure that people do not take you for granted and you need to voice out the disrespect, but doing it with style is the "boss" way. A gentle reminder about the rules, a firm, assertive, and constant reminder when things go to the border is the best way to control the opposition too.

3. Win-Win: Seek common ground
If the drama continues, the best way to diffuse the situation is to understand where the common ground lies and whether both parties can reach there. If it's possible, this should be the starting point for the way forward to build your points further. 

As I bid adieu, here's one lesson that I've learned and experienced firsthand. Maintaining decorum is not just about being polite and dignified — it’s a power move. It’s a savvy strategy that turns heated debates into opportunities for real change and building your brand. It makes people take note and develop respect for you. 

So, next time you’re in the midst of a debate, remember to become an inspiration by keeping it classy, keeping it respectful, and then, watch your cause(s) soar.

With Regards,
Your Classy Coach
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj

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