Soch with the Coach: UPSC deaths and the cost of success | Are we glorifying struggles?

The recent tragedy at a Union Public Services Commission (UPSC) coaching centre in New Delhi's Rajinder Nagar, where three students tragically drowned in a basement, has cast a stark light on the vulnerabilities and pressures faced by students in pursuit of their dreams.

This incident has sparked various narratives, including mismanagement in city planning, negligence, and the ruthless profit-driven nature of coaching centres. As we delve into these issues, it becomes essential to address the core question: Are we glorifying struggle to the extent that it endangers young lives?

When I refer to "endangering lives", I am not referring to this incident but also to the emotional, financial, physiological, and other overall challenges that students endure to pursue their dreams. The news made me ponder upon this important aspect and forced me to ask myself: "As a mental health professional, what is my take on glorifying struggles, and is it unknowingly pushing students to take dangerous risks?"

So, let me address the elephant in the room and give you my brutally honest opinion. Yes! I do believe that students are taking dangerous risks and pushing boundaries into dangerous territories, all in an attempt to achieve their dreams.

In my opinion, I find it extremely wrong to encourage students to push themselves to the point of risking their lives or even travelling in extreme conditions to achieve their goals.

As a mental health professional, I must emphasise that glorifying struggle, without acknowledging the importance of well-being can lead students to take hazardous risks. The pressure to succeed can indeed be overwhelming, often leading to physical and mental exhaustion.

Here are two of the most common reasons based on my experience:

1. Psychological projection: In most cases, students are at times pushed to pursue a specific career path due to the influence of others, and in most cases, parents. It is the usual narrative that parents project their ambitions onto their children. In this scenario, not only are the students voluntarily forced, but they come under immense pressure to perform as they would not want to let their parents down.

2. Overcompensating the void: Not all of us have everything served to us on a silver platter. We all come from diverse family backgrounds, and in most cases, the thirst to succeed is what pushes students to take risks. Media, at times, comes into play here when the lines between fantasy and reality tend to fade. Youngsters are driven to chase what is portrayed in movies or TV series.

A few are passionate, others are not, yet the drive is strong. There may be many who get the chance to taste the success, but a few entrap themselves in a deep crisis. One there needs to be a limit to that limit.

Here are a few tried and tested tips from your Coach, attempting to make you realise that you should understand where your priority should lie.

Let's understand that "Sweet are the uses of adversities" but we can't plunge into them.

The first and most important aspect students need to understand is that their health and emotional well-being are paramount. You need to understand your limitations and plan realistically. Setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness but, in fact, a superpower!

It helps us understand our capabilities and weaknesses, which, in turn, helps us plan our pathway towards sustainable success. Pushing yourself is necessary sometimes to win the proverbial contest, but constantly pushing yourself might lead to catastrophic outcomes.

Physical and mental health should always come first, irrespective of how glorious the result might be. Though I have constantly emphasised these points, students seldom ensure they get adequate sleep, nutrition, and exercise.

Effective study techniques based on research suggest taking regular breaks and following relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness or meditation, to help manage stress levels.

Also, ensure that you are aware of your caffeine intake and refrain from taking it in the late evenings so that it does not mess up your sleep cycle. I have also seen a new trend of consuming tablets and drugs to enhance focus and sleep. Always remember, the more chemicals you take, the more you are forcing your system to overwork, which is not in its native design.

The ability to recognise limits is crucial for setting boundaries. They both work in tandem, and to set boundaries it is essential to recognise one's limits and avoid pushing beyond them. Overexertion can lead to burnout, which is both counterproductive and leads to more damage in the long run.

Setting realistic goals and pacing oneself can lead to better outcomes in the long run. 

One main mistake that I have seen students make is isolating themselves. Yes, I know you are all on a mission, but cutting off from loved ones under the pretext of focusing on studies is nothing but a blunder! Engaging in social activities and maintaining connections with loved ones can provide emotional support and a sense of community. Isolation usually magnifies stress and anxiety, leading to a few detrimental effects.

By this, I am openly referring to being informed about the potential risks and challenges of your chosen path. This helps you not only make more informed decisions but also prepare yourself holistically and understand if it is beyond your limitations. There are also times wherein you might not get all the required information or might realise only later that you were not able to get the complete picture before. Fret not! Chill and consider your options.

I have constantly, in almost every column, training, and counselling session, emphasised the importance of being able to ask for help. Students should not hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals when needed. It is no longer a taboo or a sign of weakness. Sharing burdens and seeking guidance can provide much-needed relief and perspective.

The tragic loss of young lives at the UPSC coaching centre serves as a sobering reminder of the pressures and risks associated with the pursuit of success. As we reflect on this incident, parents, mentors, and even the youth must prioritise student well-being and promote a balanced approach to ambition. Institutions too, have a lot of responsibility and must take proactive steps to ensure the safety and holistic development of all their students.

Dear students, remember that your well-being is the most important, and if you don't give it the importance it deserves, then I am afraid your goal will turn into reckless ambition. Focus on making your dreams a reality by taking realistic and safe steps. Last but not least, ensure that you choose places that are the safest as that is what matters.

With Regards,
Your beloved Coach,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj.