It's devastating and heartbreaking when a life is lost. It's even more devastating and literally heart-wrenching when someone dies by suicide caused by depression or any other mental health challenge that could have been addressed...
But I really was despondent, disheartened and deeply depressed when I heard the news of the death of a 20-year-old Indian student at the prestigious University of Massachusetts in the United States (US), which was purportedly tied to the dangerous Blue Whale Challenge!
What is this Blue Whale Challenge?
To those of you who aren't aware of this! Please read on... especially parents, teachers and all youngsters!
This so-called "suicide game" known as the Blue Whale Challenge originated in Russia and has claimed the lives of over 130 boys and girls in the United States, China, Ukraine, and India.
It was developed in 2013 by former Russian convict Philipp Budeikin and the objective of the game is to psychologically push participants to engage in risky, self-destructive tasks for 50 days before ultimately "winning" by killing themselves. Every task must be filmed and shared as "proof".
The online game featured dares including watching horror and psychic films and cutting their hands with needles and blades, among other things.
The reason why it's causing chaos is simply because most of the time, young victims are drawn in by curiosity and given simple tasks that lead to addiction.
Subsequently, they discover that they are being mentally coerced into completing the tasks, which comprise fifty steps that get harder and harder.
The Modus Operandi
The way the game operated was by using a Skype meet to choose gullible "players" from social media who would then be assigned 50 chores over 50 days by "the curator".
After a phase, even if the players wanted to quit, they couldn't as they were "blackmailed and cyberbullied", which ensured that they were unable to withdraw.
First things first! Most important step!
Before I dive into the broader aspects of how to insulate and shield yourselves from being coerced into doing anything against your wishes, I'd quickly like to run through a checklist of things to be wary of and urge you to step up your observation game to ensure that no one is affected or sucked into this horrendous game.
One of the main objectives of the game, cleverly disguised to "shun fear", is constantly used as a manipulation tool to push, or rather, force individuals to involve themselves in completing tasks.
The slightest increase in isolation levels
One of the main ways in which 'a curator' of the game establishes control is by ensuring that the player is isolated and they ensure this by twisting their mind into avoiding any sort of conversations with family members in the pretext of starting the process of shunning fear.
Keep a lookout for instances of increased isolation, locking the door of the room or even when anyone is around that person, they prefer being alone rather than around people.
A boy in Puducherry was saved because his brother noticed this change in his behaviour and was also aware of the Blue Whale Challenge and informed the police. They saved the boy in the nick of time as she was about to carve the notorious Blue Whale motif on his arm with a knife.
Sudden change in clothing style
The game revolves around posting pictures of self harm like carving or cutting yourself, and more. The curators, very carefully, 'groom' or 'mould' the players to ensure that people around them don't get suspicious by making sure that they cover their body as much as possible to hide the marks, cuts, bruises or any other indications of self-harm.
Increase in risk-taking behaviour
An increase in risk-taking behaviour implies all sorts of behavioural changes, right from something as evident as jumping in front of a bullet train for the thrill of it! It can be even micro changes in behaviour like the following:
- Sudden tendency to make impulsive decisions without rationalising the same. You'll get to observe this when they agree to do something one minute and completely contradict themselves in the next.
For example: Pitching to watch a movie and then, suddenly deciding against it without any reason.
- Trying to avoid conversations as already mentioned above, but in case engaged forcefully to have one, taking the quickest route to end conversations by concluding quickly by saying, "Okay, I'll do it", "Fine! Whatever you say", or coming up with excuses like "I'm busy", "I'll talk later" and so on.
- Unnecessarily spending money or exhibiting aloofness when it comes to financial matters
Risk also includes financial risk and the best indicators of this are when they don't care about getting back the change or are unable to remember how much they paid and so on.
- Driving fast, not wearing helmets, seat belts and giving a damn about traffic rules. Well... you might say that many youngsters exhibit this behaviour and that this is common.
But I'm trying to make you aware of when an individual becomes like this all of a sudden and was following rules to the teeth earlier.
Sudden change in sleep patterns
It's definitely a red flag when sleep patterns have changed, have become extremely disturbed, or when they choose to fall asleep when everyone else are up to avoid social interactions.
Sleeping excessively is also a cause for worry as it is a result of underlying mental health challenges.
Sudden secrecy and shady behaviour
This is quite self-explanatory, but the point I'm trying to make is when there's a sudden change in the behaviour. Becoming very secretive about online activities, assigning or changing passwords for every app that has to do with any form of interaction be it WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat and so on.
There is also a possibility of using private or encrypted messaging apps to hide their interactions, which you'll need to check.
It's not just in this context!
We are often mentally coerced into doing several things. This Blue Whale game is just one of those many things.
Hence, here are few of my best tips to escape such mental coercion or pressures, no matter what form they come in: A game, a person, a group, an influencer, a web series or anything!
1) The foundation: Deep mindfulness and hyper self-awareness
Before you think that I'm going all spiritual or philosophical on you, I'd like to clarify my stance and assure you that it's from a purely scientific viewpoint.
Practising mindfulness and self-awareness enables us to recognise when we are being influenced by external factors or pressures.
We need to put in conscious efforts initially to stay aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, after which, we integrate it into our behaviour subconsciously and it runs on autopilot.
To take it a notch higher, here are a few quick tips on how you can develop deep mindfulness and hyper self-awareness:
A. Be open-minded and think with zero judgement
B. Don't give into biases and make it a point to refrain from attaching labels, stereotyping or depending on the interpretations of others
C. There's no time better than the present! So make it a point to not only consciously stay in the present but also develop minute-to-minute awareness. Organise your flow of thoughts
D. Dedicate time to developing the trait of mindfulness by following simple exercises like candlelight meditation and focusing on the flame
E. Reflect on your thoughts and journal it! It doesn't matter where, either write it down or type it on your phone, whatever works for you
I give so much emphasis on the aspect of deep mindfulness and hyper-awareness because it is what has helped me and my clients to subconsciously build our defence mechanism. This, at the very least, helps you develop a "There's something fishy going on" feeling when you're being manipulated, coerced or even exploited without your knowledge.
This has been proven in many cases as it helps increase our vigilance in all aspects while remaining calm. It also helps one programme one's mind to understand "It's just a game", "It's a movie after all" and "It's for entertainment", which shall allow you to detach yourself and not confuse your understanding of reality.
2) Be your own devil's advocate
Sharpening one's critical thinking skills is a boon in today's world.
Developing one's critical thinking skills enables one to evaluate information and situations objectively which helps one resist manipulation and make informed decisions. But to get there, one's mindfulness and awareness have to be at their best.
3) Remapping emotions is key
The first habit to develop here is to not react, come what may! Even if you know what to do and have the utmost confidence in your decision too, make it a point to take some time out and ponder over it.
You will not only develop patience but shall also develop advanced rationalising skills. This shall equip one to remap your emotions and if the first two points that I've mentioned above are practised too, it shall make one develop a shield that thwarts any form of emotional manipulation.
4) Be like Bond, James all the way!
I'm referring to becoming hypervigilant and resisting the urge to overshare in any given situation.
Most of us realise this when it's too late: We end up becoming victims in most cases by announcing or showing the chinks in our armour without thinking of how it might turn on us instead!
The best way to ensure that our vulnerabilities aren't made public is to avoid oversharing. Be aware of what to share with whom. This also helps you develop a spidey sense like Spiderman and will immediately set off the alarm bells internally when someone is trying to extract information in a deceptive manner.
5) No, I mean it!
I've stressed upon developing this skill in so many different contexts of life coaching that I'm convinced, it's high time it's considered as a life skill!
Establishing boundaries and sticking to them will not only keep you safe, but shall also ensure that your identity never suffers from any form of confidence issues.
I would like to apologise for the delay in having our conversation this week as it was quite challenging to regulate what to share and how much to share.
I also couldn't just walk away from spreading awareness about this game as many parents didn't even have the slightest idea that such a devilish game existed.
I hope that I've done justice and equipped you all with skills to not only save people from this game... But also save yourselves from people who play games with you!
With Regards,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
Your Hyper Vigilant Well Wisher
