Sexual harassment! The word that sends a chill down the spine of any humane human. I say, humane human, to emphasise individuals who possess the least amount of empathy to even be called so, as that's how harrowing this experience is!
Sexual harassment is a serious issue and not many know that it can happen in many forms like verbal, physical and online harassment. It not only can have a detrimental impact on a student's mental health and academic performance but also, in most cases, leads to behavioural patterns of self-harm, clinical depression and suicidal tendencies. So here are some of my best tips to prevent and address this horrific experience.
Be aware and beware
To ensure that you never ever experience this horror, my first tip/advice has always been around increasing awareness. What I mean by this is to be aware of the difference between good touch and bad touch. In most cases of sexual harassment, it begins with very harmless or accidental touches by the predator which is usually shrugged off by the victim without giving it much thought. But, mind you! It's neither!
It's a carefully planned and "socially engineered" act that is vaguely carried out with the intention to desensitise the victim and condition them into unconsciously accepting it as a norm so that the predator can take it to the next step. Sexual predators are, in most cases... sociopathic. The beware aspect is quite simple plus, follow the ABC formula that I've devised.
Avoid: Avoid anyone who is trying to be too friendly and trying to hastily get physical with you. It could even be a simple hug that you're not comfortable with.
Boundary setting: Giving the benefit of the doubt is fine, but in this case, it becomes the reason for our suffering. Think practically and learn to acknowledge your discomfort rather than being worried about what others will think or giving in to social norms because of peer pressure. If you don't like it, stop it... establish clear boundaries.
Communicate: Be highly vocal about what you're not comfortable with. Irrespective of where you are, who you are with and how you are (mentally). It's your body and your right!
Know Your Rights and Report To The Right People
As I have mentioned earlier, sexual harassment happens in many forms. In many cases, I've seen victims who were already being harassed sexually, but didn't know what it was.
Read up about the different forms of sexual harassment so that you're aware and can stop it from happening in the very first or basic instance. Unfortunately, if you've already experienced abuse or realise the same, report it to a trusted family member(s) and along with them, escalate it to the concerned authorities.
Take The DIP
This is another formula of mine which is easy to remember.
D - Document everything! Use all tools at your disposal and ensure that you have sufficient proof. Documentation also includes witness statements, audio, video, written communication, earlier instances, previous complaints/reports and so on.
I - Involve yourself, yes! It's a nightmare! But use this to create a fire in your belly and start or take the help of student bodies, government organisations, NGOs and others who are working towards the same. Become the protector and/or rescuer for those who haven't mustered the courage to report their own nightmarish experience.
P - Prepare yourself! Be prepared for any form of retaliation and ensure that you are on the right path legally. Never take the law into your own hands or do something that will undermine your case from a legal point of view. Yes! It's unfair and not easy, but if you truly want justice to be served, a little restraint and a whole lot of preparation go a long way in not just getting justice for yourself, but also creating a base to avoid future instances for others. You're making a difference for countless others and bringing in a change for the greater good!
The other P - Persistence! Remember that it's important to be persistent in seeking justice and support. Don't give up if you don't get the expected results or things don't work as per your expectations. If you're unsatisfied make it a point to keep pushing for action. Do not be afraid to seek out additional resources and/or seek support. Remember, you are not alone and there are people who are willing to help you. All you need to do is ensure that you make enough noise.
As I sign off, I’d like to mention that sexual harassment is a serious issue that affects many from all walks of life and not just in schools and/or colleges. It's very important to know your rights and the options and resources available to you. Reporting sexual harassment and seeking support are the first steps in addressing the issue. Remember, it is your right to a safe and respectful learning environment and you should never feel afraid or ashamed to do what it takes to ensure that you or others around you experience this horror.
With Regards,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
"Your Coach"
