Published: 26th July 2021
Kill your pride, bury the hatchet: The Coach talks about showing maturity in the times of adversity
Angry with something a friend from college did aeons ago and consider him your mortal enemy? Don’t, says The Coach. Here’s why
The pandemic has forced each and every one of us to adapt quite abruptly in a lot of aspects of our lives. Change is the only constant in life and COVID has proved to us that only the fittest survive.
What is fitness during the pandemic?
The definition of fitness again varies and differs for each individual, from physiological immunity levels of an individual all the way to managing to remain balanced mentally during the pandemic. That said, we had no choice, but to switch to an ‘e’ format in most of our regular activities. But with e-convocations happening in most edu institutions, I wondered if it’s ever going to be as good as the real thing. I definitely don’t mean to advocate violating COVID protocols or for anyone to engage in any form of virus-spreading behaviour — today’s column is more of a reminiscence of how best you can bid adieu in the most meaningful way in today’s scenario.
You’ve gotta say goodbye, right?
E-convocations definitely aren’t the farewell that we expect or imagine. During both my UG and PG, the farewell day or farewell party was the most emotional, teary and heavy-hearted day of the entire duration of the course. Even the ones who were perceived as the strongest, would have felt something. It was always a day where everything mattered, right from what we wore to the people with whom we’ll spend the last days of our academic journey. In my world, saying goodbye, however long or short, holds very deep meaning and has to be done right. So how is it done the right way?
Love ‘em, hate ‘em: The thing about friends
One of the most beautiful ironies that I’ve faced is, how we would have DETESTED someone on the very first day of college and a couple of months or a year later, that person would have become our best friend. The opposite also does happen and many of those who were the closest to us, would have drifted away. This is the best time to mend those relationships, take the moral high road and seek forgiveness irrespective of whose fault it is. Trust me it makes a huge difference. How?
Life’s not always the same
I want to stress upon two aspects here. One, there are times in our lives when we might need some form of assistance or help. That’s when we regret not mending relationships as we can’t approach our classmates with whom we’ve burnt bridges. Two, what goes up has to come down and we don’t realise that the ones who were meek or whom we had dominated, might become the leaders of their organisations and command powerful positions tomorrow. In fact, I’ve seen the ones who were considered introverted, quiet, weak and constantly bullied reach greater heights than those who were the most popular during college.
Maturity sinks in, but when?
My grandfather, Dr DG Benakappa, taught me that the biggest thing you can do is to forgive the one who’s wronged you. But trust me, that may not hold true in today’s world. But if you’re sure that the person who’s wronged you only did so because of the situation and isn’t manipulative, conniving, ungrateful or dangerous, bury the hatchet now! These are the best people for you.
Wipe it clean! Focus on the white!
The most meaningful way to part ways is to forget, forgive and retain the relationship but start afresh in those aspects that have strained it in the past. Remember, you never know when you’ll bump into them next or even if you’ll ever get a chance to. Rather than looking at each other and turning your heads away, wouldn’t you like it if you are excited to see each other, hug it out and grab coffee?
My biggest regret has been that I’ve never been able to keep in touch with anyone. Well, I’ll bid goodbye too now, but only for a week!
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj