Published: 01st May 2020
When this life coach's UK-based uncle tested positive for COVID-19, he kept calm and helped his father too
These are the techniques The Coach opted for when he found out that his uncle, who stays in the United Kingdom, has been tested positive for COVID-19
I’m usually the CARTOON in my family and with close friends. This lockdown, which is making us all feel TIED DOWN, has surprisingly made me more MISCHIEVOUS as I’m stuck at home without any other social contact. One such mischievous habit that I had developed was to irritate my father by informing my wife loudly that I’m going out for a drive though I had no such plans. It would fire him up and I’d receive an EARFUL.
The first reaction
The COMEDY of pulling my dad’s leg turned into a TRAGEDY when we found out that my uncle had tested positive for COVID-19!
My father is the eldest of four brothers, out of which, he lost one in the past. He’s given all that he can to ensure the best for his brothers to such an extent that I felt that my uncles were more important than ME! On the other hand, this feeling never had a chance to stay because my uncles loved me and looked after me.
My most favourite out of the three (though I love them all) was Babu Chikappa (Babu is uncle in Kannada) because he was the youngest and was more a BEST FRIEND to me. Not just that, we both were mischievous too. It was this uncle who was now battling for his life!
I froze and was so angry. But when I saw how pale my father had become, the RAGE turned into PANIC... as I knew my dad was shattered.
Faith and fate
Both my father and uncle are pious and I am not. Dad prayed with all his faith for his brother’s recovery while I accepted that our fate isn’t in our hands whilst never letting go of my faith as my intuition that he’ll pull through was strong. This combination helped me remain calm and reassure my father.
The power of DISASSOCIATION
We fear when something bad happens to the ones we love but are unscathed when it happens to someone we are not close to. Though it might not look right, I had to dissociate and look at the situation from a third person’s perspective. It helped me HOLD MY WATER as I was affected by the lockdown too.
Don’t pile it on
My father would constantly attempt to video call my uncle and would become tense when he didn’t answer. He would then call up my sisters or aunt and then try calling him again. To me, it felt like we were PROJECTING our ANXIETY on the patient who ironically needs rest. So, I distracted myself to pass the time.
SKY FALL? Nope!
Act normal rather than assume that we’re all heading for DOOM. I always had casual conversations with my uncle, like always, while being reassuring too.
I can now happily say that my uncle has recovered. If a person who followed all precautions ended up being infected, imagine what might happen to the ones who don’t? Let this be a lesson to those who still have their GOD-MODE ON and feel like the virus will not affect them. It’s high time we did our best to fight this pandemic or else, I’m afraid we will be permanently turned OFF.
STAY SAFE, STAY HOME!
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj