Published: 27th June 2020
You’ve gotta love your life: Why we should handle subjects like suicide, depression more sensitively
The Coach tells us exactly why we must learn to be more sensitive and humane in dealing with subjects like depression and suicide
SUICIDE, a word that sends a CHILL down the spine of anyone who has decent levels of empathy. THE VERY IMPORTANT FIRST STEP WE ALL NEED TO TAKE AND MAKE A LIFELONG PRACTICE: WE NEED TO STOP USING THE WORD SUICIDE!
Intentionally or unintentionally, we have made it a practice to use the word COMMIT SUICIDE. We COMMIT a SIN, but we don’t use the same word to describe an ACHIEVEMENT, WHY? Everytime we use the word COMMIT, it has a negative RING to it which immediately makes us associate the loss of life to something negative like committing a crime. Classical conditioning at its very best! Instead, I’d suggest we use alternatives. I don’t even recommend the usage of HE/SHE TOOK THEIR LIFE, I have my own ASSERTIVE WAY of referring to suicide... I use the words — PREMATURE/UNEXPECTED LOSS OF LIFE. Not only is this a very decent way to pass the message but also the best way to RESPECT THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR BATTLE AGAINST THE DISEASE.
I have observed one important aspect in most of the people whom I have seen talk about this subject. They very callously just conclude saying that “HE/SHE was a COWARD!” or something similar and derogatory. Trust me! It’s got nothing to do with mental strength or being a coward. In fact, on the contrary, it takes a lot of courage to STOP LIVING.
How do I know this? FULL DISCLOSURE: I too, have BEEN THERE, DONE THAT! I write each and every column from the depth of my heart and share my true experiences without batting an eyelid. What I’m about to share might make people uncomfortable but I don’t live to please people around me! I live to TRANSFORM and SAVE LIVES. So here’s me sharing the darkest secret of my life, I too had THOUGHT OF ENDING MY LIFE PREMATURELY! It might be a SHOCKER to many reading this, but this is the reason why I’M DOING WHAT I DO! These type of experiences are what led me to become a psychotherapist and a Life Coach.
The mistake we make as a society: Once I was back on my feet, most of the people around me would look at me like an OUTCAST, a bad influence or be too sympathetic. In fact, the MALICIOUS GOSSIPING, THE CONSTANT SNEERING and BASELESS RUMOURS that were spread made me think for a second about ending my life. BUT... I DID THE UNTHINKABLE! I SURVIVED! Not just survived, but EXCELLED in what I did and always HELD MY HEAD HELD HIGH! I decided to give a damn to the world or the people in it, but decided to PROVE my worth when the time comes! But not everyone could be as lucky. I had the best parents, a really genuine set of friends and other well wishers who supported me and helped me move past that phase.
The three rules that I request you all to follow: Never gossip about a person who’s lost his life prematurely. Try to support those who are feeling low, we’re all humans and remember it! Last but not the least, it’s OKAY if you weren’t concerned...But DON’T EVER BE PRETENTIOUS, ARTIFICIAL AND FAKE. I see a lot of people who actually berated SUSHANT SINGH RAJPUT suddenly write emotional messages and throw fake emotions around.
To, Sushant Singh Rajput who inspired me to write this piece today: Dear Sushant, we lost you early and couldn’t help you. But I pray that your passing makes people realise the danger lurking amongst us which is more uncontrollable than the pandemic. Though I never knew you, I read a lot about your life. You were brilliant in every way and I sincerely pray, may your soul rest in everlasting peace.
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj