Published: 06th July 2020
Why do we fear the end? How to deal with the fear and anxiety that surrounds death
At a time when life has become unpredictable, The Coach discusses the fear and anxiety that surrounds death and how to deal with it
Reader: “I have been suffering from Thanatophobia over the last few months. Life has turned very pessimistic and I don’t know what to do. I have recovered a lot after getting a little spiritual. Could you suggest something that can help keep my mind calm?”
For those of you who haven’t heard of the term Thanatophobia, it refers to the FEAR OF DYING. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve asked you to brush it off and RELAX, but due to the grim times we’re living in, this FEAR has started to affect even the calmest amongst us.
There is a silver lining here too...which is us becoming EXTRA CAREFUL! The anxiety makes us EXTRA AWARE and EXTRA CAREFUL so as to SURVIVE and be healthy. But... Let me make myself explicitly clear, I AM NOT SAYING THAT DEVELOPING THIS FEAR IS A GOOD THING.
We all fear THE END. Whatever the reasons might be, THIS FEAR has a limit too. If it is affecting our mental wellbeing to a level that we fear the loss of life, every second of our existence, we’re as good as DEAD! The reason for my strong words is to make you all aware that we would’ve spent a big chunk of our life neither addressing the issue nor leading a happy life.
We all have our own belief systems, values and principles. I’d like to share one of the best ways to battle this fear if you believe in the ALMIGHTY and that is BY DEPENDING on DIVINE INTERVENTION. Also, it has been proven that one of the most common and effective methods of diagnosis is TALK THERAPY. If you believe in the almighty and want to vent out, WHY NOT?
The first thing we all need to be clear on is that THANATOPHOBIA IS THE FEAR OF LOSING ONE’S OWN LIFE AND NOT THE FEAR OF OTHERS DYING. Many mistakes the two and expect the same treatment to work in both cases. The approach for therapy is completely different. I have gotten the best results when I have combined hypnotherapy with cognitive behavioural therapy with my clients. Seeking help from a professional is recommended, but to start making progress on your own, here are some questions you need to ask yourself:
Am I worried about the afterlife?
Is it not knowing what happens that is making me anxious?
Have I developed this fear because of watching a similar event?
Once we ask this kind of questions and introspect, the next step would be to write down the BEST CASE SCENARIOS and RATIONAL analysis. For example, am I worried about the afterlife? If the answer is yes, then we know that there is NO ONE who can furnish an answer to this with proof. Once we accept this, it becomes clear to us that WE TOO are on the same plane. Once we understand this, it becomes easy for us to understand, WHEN OTHERS ARE HAPPY why can’t I be?
My simple request: The ones who experience this are the only ones who know how harrowing it is, if someone around you needs help and support, please do your best to support them. To those of you already experiencing this, just remember to ask yourself, ‘IS WHAT I FEAR WITHIN MY CONTROL?’ if the answer is YES, You already know what to do. If the answer is NO, WHY WORRY? With Regards,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj