Published: 12th December 2020
Are you paying attention to this? Focus on what makes you happy
Pro Tip: What you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what makes you happy. When you focus on what’s not there, you’ll lose what you already have
Bhaiyya, 'I invited my friends for a Zoom party,' said Rahul. 'Those fools didn’t show up. I’m very upset.'
‘No one came?’ asked Rakesh.
‘Rinku, Ali and Kapil came, of course,’ said Rahul. ‘But I’m really upset with the others.’
‘It’s is a classic way to stay unhappy for no reason,’ Rakesh said.
‘Why bhaiyya?’ asked Rahul.
‘Your attention is a precious resource, Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘How you use it can make you happy or unhappy.’
‘How does it work, bhaiyya?’ asked Rinku.
‘We can focus our attention on what we have and be happy or focus our attention on what we don’t have and stay unhappy. Most of us focus on what’s not there which makes us, and consequently others around us, unhappy. For example, Rahul, you should ask Rinku how she felt about the party.’
‘Oh,’ smiled Rinku. ‘I felt pretty useless when Rahul ignored me and was more concerned about the others who didn’t show up. I wondered why I showed up at all. None of us had a good time.’
‘I’m sorry, Rinku,’ said Rahul. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you.’
‘That’s what happens when we get this simple process wrong, Rahul,’ said Rakesh. ‘Instead of having a good time with those who showed up, you could end up losing them since you didn’t treat them well. Now no one’s happy. Does that make sense?’
Rahul nodded sheepishly.
‘Be it success, money, relationships, health or whatever, first, focus on what you have and grow it instead of cribbing about what you don’t have,’ said Rakesh. ‘What we focus on grows.’
‘That’s the recipe for happiness then,’ said Rinku, ‘To make the best of what we have. Everyone can do it. Wonder why we keep looking for what’s not there and messing up what we have. But how do we know we’re doing it right, bhaiyya?’
'A good indication of where our focus is can be had by being aware of how we’re feeling – happy or unhappy – while doing it,' smiled Rakesh. 'If you’re feeling happy, your attention is on the right thing. Otherwise, change your focus immediately.'
'I get it, bhaiyya,' said Rahul. 'Life’s pretty simple when we look at it like that.'
Pro Tip: What you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what makes you happy. When you focus on what’s not there, you’ll lose what you already have.