Published: 28th December 2019
How to let it go? Here's what you can do to overcome suppressed anger, emotions and move on
How can we move on to the year 2020 if we carry our suppressed anger and emotions from the past years? Let's find out more on how to overcome this
It’s that time of the year folks, Christmas celebrations have concluded and New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. Time and again I have emphasised on the fact that we cannot MOVE AHEAD if we’re stuck in the PAST and my all-time favourite metaphor for it is, ‘We cannot drive a car while looking at the REARVIEW MIRROR’. Hence, I felt it would be right to talk about LETTING GO of all that has ANGERED us till date!
Why is it important?
When we’re trying to let go of all that which has angered us, it’s NATURAL to reexamine those scenarios in our mind. But we tend to dig up those memories and get STUCK there though it is necessary. Suppressed anger is considered dangerous according to psychology.
You are not digging up the past, but just revisiting them to analyse where you went wrong and LEARN from it. You need to accept your mistakes.
Second Step: Analysis
Make a note of the events and other scenarios that have led you to suppress emotions. Once you’re sure that you’ve covered it all, narrow down the list to crucial areas. You can do this by digging deeper and understanding whether it was a person or just the situation that led you to this negative experience. Next, you’ll need to get even more clarity on whether this situation was in your control or not and finally, you’ll need to make a list of what emotion you felt which led you to be angry.
Third Step: Setting action plans
This needs to be divided into three groups. One, forgiving and letting go; two, learnings derived and three, triggers. All the people who have hurt you or have caused you to become angry go into the first group.
For the second step, make a list of all that you have learnt from these experiences and even if you feel that you haven’t, it’s OKAY. This is where you connect the AREA OF CONTROL aspect. If you felt that things were in your control and you still had an unpleasant experience then, learn from your past experiences. If it wasn’t in your control, you need to LET GO.
Last, but not least
Understanding your TRIGGERS and avoiding them. Once you do this exercise, you’ll have garnered a fair idea of what IRKS you. Once you have understood this, you need to be on the lookout to be able to handle that EMOTION effectively.
One of my close friends Hithesh told me something that helped me quicken the process. He said, “When you’re thinking too much about the people or instances that have angered you, you’re allowing them to stay RENT-FREE in your mind and destroy it too.” Very true! Now, I only allow people and memories that are VALUABLE into the PRICELESS REAL ESTATE of my mind, everything else stays off! Let me know how this works for you and here’s wishing you all a very happy and prosperous New Year 2020.
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj