Published: 04th December 2019
Slow Clap: Why being part of Nithyananda Paramashivam's Hindu nation will be the coolest thing ever
We hear that the god/man is providing Hindus across the world legal help with collateral damages that may occur whenever they save cows from being slaughtered
At last the perfect country is here. His Divine Holiness Nithyananda Paramashivam's enlightened civilisation, the greatest and the only Hindu nation now — Kailaasa is the answer to all our questions and dreams. But the new country is not all Nithyanandaji is offering. He will also make you the superhero you always wanted to be. Want the ability to scan any being’s body and know their health issues? Want to see/scan any remote location through your third eye? Be your own Google? All of it is possible if you can deal with the third eye — looks kinda out of fashion but who cares if you are able to scan bodies.
All this in just 21 days. Would you miss this chance for anything in the world?
The new-born nation right off the coast of Ecuador will be home to all Hindus who cannot practice their religion at home. But at Kailaasa you can practice whatever tantra you are into. The temple ecosystem that has been planned for this nation is the greatest thing ever. No more squabble about mandir kahan banega. Wherever you see you will see temples and mandirs. The Kailaasa movement has the blessings of Trumpji as well. After all, it originated there.
It is just amazing how well-planned the nation is. The departments and ministries are not as narrow-minded as the so-called modern civilisations. Nithyanandaji's nation follows the Vedic way for everything. The Kailaasa Department of Homeland Security & Defense is not only protecting and fighting for its own citizens but also for Hindus’ rights and interests, providing legal support against the persecution of Hindus across the globe. So if you have not yet made up your mind or still have non-Hindu ties in this world, you can still avail their services.
They also have an online service that can be very useful in today's world. The Vedic way of Birthing is not a C-grade movie that does not deliver, it is an online programme by Nithyanandaji — making you realise the Tattvas and Vedic Truths and teaches you to relax and be positive. Remeber Sacred Games' community pool exercise — maybe it is something like that.
The education system is also robust. While Modiji's government keeps going through hurdles to form an education policy, Nithyanandaji has made universities, gurukuls and press at Kailaasa. What can a man not achieve if he is allowed to use his powers properly?
All the JNU students should go there at the earliest. They are offering free education guys. Not just that, they are also offering free food. A step ahead of Kejriwal.
Kailasa is the place to be. No matter what anyone says. Having second thoughts? Call the Vedic Call Centre — also run by disciples of Nithyanandaji.
(The author is fed up of his job and hot country and wants a vacation, but can't afford one. His only question after Kailaasa opened up has been if one needs a visa to go there and how to get it. He would love free food and healthcare for the rest of his life and is the process of convincing his wife who wants to shop in Paris and is not so fond of Baba Ramdev's designs)