Published: 28th February 2017
Going beyond a pinch or a poke
Fathers who ill treat or abuse their wives in front of children, tend to pass on that same violent behaviour to their sons.
Being based out of Bengaluru, when the NEW YEAR SHAME INCIDENT (or the mass molestation) took place recently in Brigade Road on New Year’s eve... I couldn’t resist taking this up as it has to be addressed IMMEDIATELY.
Molestation, and disrespect towards women isn’t new and it has to stop. We cannot expect to be a DEVELOPED Nation if we don’t evolve in our THINKING and by thinking, I’m referring to the basic social etiquette. There are equally devastating incidents that I come across, wherein women have molested the opposite sex. But today, I feel it is necessary to give priority to the safety of women.
Where does it all start, parenting?
Let me make it clear that the intention here is not to blame anybody, but facilitate evolution in all fronts, especially parenting.
I would like to cut to the chase and make you aware of how we teach the boys to be STRONG & dominant, whereas force the girls to be soft, accommodative and nurturing. In many cases, I have come across parents who choose to remain quiet in spite of the male child becoming violent physically with his sister, whereas if the contrary happens the girl is asked to remain calm and be mature.
If empathy levels are not taught and equality is not established at home, it often leads to unruly behaviour on the long run. Fathers who ill treat or abuse their wives in front of children, tend to pass on that same violent behaviour to their sons.
Another factor is the lack of sex education. In some cases, I have come across individuals who have seen someone DO IT, developed curiosity, but due to the absence of SEX EDUCATION become sexual abusers to satisfy their curiosity.
There’s also another side to the story. Boys who have been sexually abused exist too. They develop trust issues, don’t understand relationships and mistake friendship for seduction. The reason why I am emphasising on the importance of parenting is because CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.
The moral, social and cultural values and norms needs to be strongly taught at home. This determines how a man will tackle his sexual urge and remain in balance.
What other factors lead to this?
Group dynamics and peer pressure is another factor. When a group is formed, every member is expected to follow the rules because of peer pressure. For example, if the group gets drunk and one of them starts groping a woman, the others tend to follow especially of that particular person is the ALPHA.
OBJECTIFICATION of women as SEX OBJECTS has and still is a major factor. Especially with every movie having an ITEM SONG and transition of mainstream porn actresses into the entertainment industry has made men look at women just as that. Adding to this, the easy access to internet to all.
Finally, I would like to make you all aware of the fact that many sexual offenders are the ones suffering from the lowest self esteem and confidence. They feel the boost when they use their physical strength to reduce others into a helpless soul and that thrill makes them repeat the behaviour.
All this leads to only two solutions. One, to have strict rules by the government to protect women and the ability to enforce it with adequate infrastructure or two, for US the people of the society to INITIATE & BE THE CHANGE. I shall save writing things you already know like maybe carrying a pepper spray, going out in groups, etc. I would rather request and appeal to you all to help transform our society into a more dignified one.
My final word
Let’s all take up a serious initiative to educate and change as many as we can to become the PROTECTORS rather than the OFFENDERS. Let us encourage women to become stronger, be well protected and safe. Let us advice the vulnerable, protect the helpless and be observant of the innocent. The last sentence might be a cliché, so let’s do it MY STYLE. Let us protect someone else’s family, so that someone else protects our own! Let us make good karma our strongest ally!
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj,