Doing your best doesn’t mean you win

A blunder we often commit when we talk to ourselves or others is our instinctive behavior to GENERALISE.
Illustration: Aneesh VP
Illustration: Aneesh VP

When I receive queries, few turn out to be repeats when I consider the root causes. I understand that many would be first time readers, or might have missed out some issues, but it is queries like these which I keep digging for. My conscience is pushing me to share one part of my life which may make you judgemental about me but when realisation dawns as we conclude, you’ll be POSITIVELY CHARGED.

According to people, I’ve FAILED MISERABLY innumerable times, because I’ve been horrible in studies, in and out of ‘bad company’, OBESE, not making enough MONEY as people perceive wealth to reflect SUCCESS, genuinely honest and ethical rather than MANIPULATIVE, etc. That’s their perspective, but I think I’ve faced numerous CHALLENGES which has made me emerge like a PHOENIX everytime. I have had set backs but I’ve never perceived them as FAILURES. I’ve taken all the criticism, worked on it, learnt from it and made EPIC COMEBACKS. Hence, why term it as FAILURES when you’re becoming more SUCCESSFUL?

The first aspect you all need to be aware of is PERSPECTIVE. The way we perceive anything makes a BIG DIFFERENCE. Rather than perceiving it as a SET BACK or FAILURE, look at it as a LEARNING EXPERIENCE preparing us to become BETTER in the future — don’t you think there’s a completely POSITIVE VIBE about it? Next important aspect is SELF TALK (affirmations). Your mind listens and believes what you tell it. If you feed it negative thoughts like “I always fail”, it’s bound to happen. Try telling yourself, “I learnt another lesson which will make me more successful in the future” you’ll feel better, and soon become an OPTIMIST too.

A blunder we often commit when we talk to ourselves or others is our instinctive behavior to GENERALISE. We often use statements like “I always fail”, “I always quit” etc. Again, programming yourself negatively is one thing. But haven’t you been SUCCESSFUL AT ALL? I’d never agree with you. We’re BORN WINNERS! As even to be born, we had to be the fastest swimmer among millions of competitors. Haven’t we already become successful? The next tip is to make a list of your successes to boost your morale and analyse the factors which helped you succeed.

You never know what you might stumble upon which might make you SKYROCKET to your success. We fall, we rise, we repeat. That’s life. If we’re constantly falling, there’s something we’re missing out on learning from the process. I acknowledge that when it becomes repetitive, you question why it isn’t giving you results in spite of giving your best. But what if your 100% isn’t good enough? How will you ascertain that? Running a marathon like your TAIL IS ON FIRE is pointless if you’re running in the WRONG WAY. ANALYSE the DIRECTION you’re putting your efforts in. If you still feel everything is right then try to do it DIFFERENTLY. If it works GREAT, if not BETTER as you learn another lesson.

Almost every great invention is an outcome of set backs. Thomas Alva Edison, who succeeded at inventing an electric bulb after 10,000 trials said “I didn’t fail, I just found out 10,000 ways that won’t work”.

What enabled him to succeed then? It was his VISION! Always be aware of your long term vision. When you feel that you want to quit, remember why you started it in the first place. Use these thoughts to stay motivated.

Last but not the least, the GOLDEN RULE seldom followed, ACCEPTANCE! If you’re facing a challenge, accept it.

Trying to avoid it, fighting with it or complaining isn’t going to help. Once you accept it, GIVE IT TIME! A lot of us take time to recover. It’s OK. But as mentioned earlier, look at the learnings derived from it rather than losing your morale, which makes it difficult to bounce back.

My final word

They say that failure is the stepping stone towards success. My quote is “Let’s build success by using failures as a foundation stone and not allow failures to become the reason for our tombstone!”
 

With Regards,
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj,
The Coach

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