Last week, we spoke about words that people say as a ‘joke’ without thinking about it and
why it’s wrong to do so. Now, I want to continue further and talk about why it is wrong and how it affects us.
- It’s just an EXCUSE! It HURTS PEOPLE and is an UNNECESSARY DISCLAIMER like those before a movie. ‘It is harmful to smoke/drink’ is what comes on the screen before the movie starts, whereas all characters would end up doing the same! What’s the point?
- It BURNS BRIDGES! We don’t realise that using these kind of sentences are actually detrimental to any conversation. If we don’t understand how it is ON THE OTHER SIDE and stop using these kind of sentences, we will soon realise that we’ve LOST out on GENUINE FRIENDS as we never gave importance to THEIR FEELINGS!
- It conditions us to PUT OTHERS DOWN and make us feel SUPERIOR about ourselves, whereas in reality we might not even possess the credibility to advice others. It’s similar to what happens in ROAD RAGE! We get our TEMPERS UP thinking that all the other drivers around us are stupid fools, while we fail to realise that others might be THINKING THE SAME THING about us!
- It makes us NARCISSISTIC! I’ve seen a lot of people who subconsciously PROJECT themselves onto others and ADVICE them using a lot of the above-mentioned sentences. Little do they realise that they have the exact same FLAWS within THEMSELVES but aren’t aware. When people around us DON’T PUT US IN OUR PLACE, we slowly end up developing narcissistic traits. Here’s what should be done:
INTENTION vs EXPRESSION
Be aware of what we’re trying to communicate. What is the intention or the desired outcome of this communication? Once this is figured out, ensure that the message is put across in an ASSERTIVE MANNER.
MIRROR MIRROR
The best way to express ourselves without hurting anyone is to imagine us looking at a mirror and saying the exact same things that we’re about to. If we can’t accept what we would’ve said to our OURSELVES, how is it fair that we expect others to TAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS LYING DOWN?
Honesty is the best policy!: If you’re genuinely concerned, share your own experiences and make the other person understand. Never be a hypocrite! I advise a lot of obese teens too, but I share with them the experiences that I have gone through. My agenda is to help them cope with it, not CHANGE FOR SOMEONE ELSE!
Hence, I’d want you to take this personally! I want you to put it into your own minds that whatever I’ve expressed above isn’t a joke. Let’s NOT HURT others or DAMAGE THEM by using sentences which we don’t mean, but rather be silent and avoid hurting others even if we can’t make them happy with what we have to say.
