Published: 14th September 2019
Canteen Fundas: How to be secure with all your insecurities
Here are a few important tips on how you can be honest with yourself and make it through each day with self confidence
'Rahul,’ said Rinku. ‘When our lecturer asked in class today if we had doubts, everyone acted like they understood everything.’
‘Yes,’ said Rahul. ‘I had a few, but didn’t ask.’
‘I had too,’ said Rinku. ‘I wonder why we don’t ask.’
‘I’ll tell you,’ said Rakesh, their senior, joining them at their table. ‘Because you feel insecure,’ he said. ‘We miss out on a lot of learning because of our insecurity.’
‘Insecure? Who’s insecure? Not me,’ said Rahul.
‘Relax,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘Most of us are. A sign of insecurity is to become defensive like you did just now.’
‘But what are we feeling insecure about?’ asked Rahul.
‘Of being found out,’ said Rakesh. ‘Most of us feel that we should know more than we do. So we try to hide the fact that we don’t. That’s why you keep quiet in class.’
‘Sounds silly,’ said Rinku. ‘Hiding what we don’t have.’
‘The more you try to hide, the more insecure you will be,’ said Rakesh. ‘When do you feel insecure Rahul?’
‘I feel very insecure when our class toppers or lecturers are around me,’ said Rahul. ‘How can I change that?’
‘By being secure,’ laughed Rakesh. ‘When you are insecure about something you are trying to hide, stop hiding it,’ said Rakesh. ‘Be honest with yourself. Once you are secure in your reality, nothing can make you insecure. Even a room full of wise people! You can simply say, wow, you guys are smart and I know nothing. You become the most secure person in the room.’
‘That’s it?’ asked Rinku. ‘But what will they think?’
‘Others will know the truth about you how much ever you try to hide,’ said Rakesh. ‘It’s like a broke guy trying to act rich and spending money he does not have.’
‘In other words,’ said Rahul. ‘I don’t need to pretend.’
‘And how does being secure help you?’ asked Rakesh.
‘Hmm...I feel confident,’ said Rinku. ‘More authentic. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Many possibilities open up for me because I am more aware.’
‘I feel free,’ said Rahul. ‘There’s no pressure to be something I’m not. I feel I can handle anything. For starters, Chotu, please bring us your best chai and samosas.’
Rakesh smiled. ‘Yes. You’ll also enjoy the journey much more and get better results this way. Good luck.’
Pro tip: To be secure, accept yourself exactly as you are, warts and all. That’s the key to your growth.