The discussion of menstruation, also referred to as “chum”, “aunt flo”, “lady business”, “that time of the month” and other euphemisms evokes discomfort in many individuals. Despite being a natural biological process that affects nearly every woman on the planet at some point in their life, it remains shrouded in secrecy and silence when mentioned publicly.
A tragic incident recently occurred in Thane, Maharashtra where a brother murdered his 12-year-old sister after suspecting her first-period blood stains were an indication of an affair. The girl, who was oblivious to menstruation, couldn't explain her situation and was subjected to physical abuse for days, which ultimately led to her tragic demise.
The incident at hand, while certainly brutal in its demonstration of patriarchal oppression and the dangerous consequences it can yield, also serves as a reminder of some critical issues that remain unspoken of in our society. Beyond the immediate horror of the act lies a commentary on several societal matters such as education and awareness surrounding menstrual cycles, sex education and body consciousness.
“The case is shocking on multiple levels; however its bizarre nature accurately encapsulates all the aspects which are not currently being addressed correctly,” says Anusha Bharadwaj, Executive Director of NGO Voice 4 girls and the founder of SoCh for Social Change.
So where is it that the system is going wrong? Why is a married man or a teenage boy not aware of menstruation? What are conversations on menstruation like in schools? EdexLive delves into these crucial questions during our conversation with students, teachers, principals and activists.
The silence around the topic
Woefully neglected and misunderstood by far too many still, the silence around these “taboo topics” underscores the stark reality prevalent in Indian society. Families are often reluctant to talk about these topics while even teachers at schools feel uneasy discussing reproduction. “Not knowing what it is, is the main issue,” says Anusha, adding, “Both boys and girls must be made aware biologically and emotionally so they can embrace natural changes associated with growing up while avoiding stigmatisation or shame.”
Looking back at the incident, it is evident from this situation that no one had ever broached the subject of menstruation with the brother. This most likely happened since period talks have been long considered off-limits, relegated to secretive conversations among female members only. Such societal taboos surrounding menstrual cycles only further reinforce negative connotations of "impurity" associated with menstruating women who, unfortunately, often bear the burden of upholding familial honour — just like what occurred in this specific situation. “A married man was not aware of periods, can you believe it?” exclaims Anusha. “This toxic cycle is passed down from generation to generation and it will continue because no one will break it at any point.”
Meghna Mukherjee, a teacher at Delhi Public School, Bangalore East, expressed her horror at the incident by drawing a comparison to honour killings. "Not only was the sister unaware of her own bodily functions, but her brother also thought he had a certain amount of control over her body," she states. While Mukherjee's relatively urban school fosters open discussions on menstruation and menstrual hygiene, she acknowledges that this is not the norm at all schools. "Students at my school even campaign for elections on the basis of better menstrual hygiene. However, this is not the case everywhere."
Many schools, including the Bodhi School, are making an effort to have discussions around the topics of menstruation. Principal Anitha Dorairaj explains, "I ensure that I have separate discussions with girls first, and then with both girls and boys about menstruation and other puberty-related changes. Once boys are properly informed, they can be extremely supportive and sensitive about it." She admits that students may feel uncomfortable or break into awkward giggles during these discussions, but destigmatising menstruation as a natural process that half the human population goes through can help make the situation less awkward.
Do sexual topics become insensitive jokes?
However, unlike the Bodhi School, most schools refrain from having these critical discussions. And even when discussions do arise, they can do more harm than good. When asked how he first learned about menstruation, a Class XII student at an urban school in Hyderabad said it was from his parents. "I think that having an intimate discussion with my parents is what made me more comfortable with the topic. If such topics are discussed in school, they might just become the subject of insensitive jokes," he adds.
Anusha believes that this highlights the dire state of sex education in our country. "It becomes a joke because people don't know how to do sex education right," she says and points out that many first learn about sex from pornography. "When I ask boys where they learned about sex, they often say their brothers sent them videos. However, pornography is often violent and is a terrible way to educate oneself about sex,” Anusha explains.
“There needs to be a systemic way to do this such that everyone feels safe to open up. Current discussions often devolve into an adversarial 'boys vs girls' dynamic and fail to address broader issues of gender and sexuality.” Additionally, she notes that the discomfort that adults, including teachers and parents, feel while discussing these topics is reflected in their students. “If the adults get comfortable with these discussions, students will follow suit.”
Fostering an environment of empathy and support
Khushi Jain, a Class X student from Sushila Birla Girls’ School, Kolkata, says her environment at school is positive when it comes to menstruation. “Since I study in a girls' school, menstruation is perceived as the most natural thing that happens to a girl in puberty,” she says. She attributes this progressive attitude towards menstruation largely to the supportive teachers who foster an open dialogue around female health issues. In her opinion, discussions surrounding menstrual health should be encouraged in classrooms everywhere since these conversations help break down stigma and misconceptions related to periods. “Menstruation should not be a taboo. It is important to realise that women are not impure or sinful while they are menstruating,” she says.
Anusha argues that schools have a significant role to play in promoting positive attitudes towards menstruation.“Children come together in this place and hence, it plays a more crucial role than parents”. She emphasises how period is not the sole issue and topics of violence, body, sex and everything in between need to be addressed holistically and methodologically over time.
"Our body is a place of fight for everything, so, it is important that it is done right and in a way that these stigmatised notions are not created," adds Anusha. Principal Dorairaj agrees with Anusha by stressing the importance of cultivating empathy and support amongst students at an early age. "If a manner that aims to resolve and respond right from childhood days is created, such shame would be done away with," concludes Principal Dorairaj.
