Published: 12th September 2020
I am scared I won't get a seat: 19-year-old NEET aspirant writes heart-wrenching letter to family before taking her own life
Jothi was reportedly studying till 1 am and had spoken to her family last night who had no inkling about her mental state
Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault....I know sorry is not enough for my decision but please forgive me
NEET aspirant 19-year-old M Jothi Durga wrote a seven-page-long note before she decided to take her own life. She was afraid of the NEET exam scheduled on September 13. She was afraid she won't be able to secure a seat despite her father's sacrifices and support. This was her second attempt at NEET. She was found hanging in her room at the Armed Reserve Police Quarters, Madurai on September 12. This is the third time a NEET aspirant has taken their life this year.
Jothi was reportedly studying till 1 am and had spoken to her family last night who had no inkling about her mental state. In the letter, Jothi mostly addresses her father but mentions her mother, brother Sridhar and other family members as well. "You are a heart patent. So, please don't be sad. it might affect your health. Avoid nightlong travels. Follow your diet. Your health is very important. Sridhar depends on you," she wrote to her father Sub-Inspector of Police Muruga Sundaram.
Jothi had appeared for the test last year but could not clear it but this year she had prepared well. She herself agreed to that. "I studied well. I got 590+ in the last mock test. But Appa, I'm afraid of the exam," she wrote. "You taught me kindness. How to love everyone, learn good things. You protected me my whole life. You always cared for me. You are my hero," added Jothi in her last letter.
She apologised to her brother and her mother as well. "I love you, Sridhar. I know you will miss me. I am really sorry. You are the best brother. I am a coward. I don't deserve your love and respect. Take good care of Amma and Appa. Study well and forget about me," she wrote. "You had a lot of expectations for me. I am sorry. If I don't get a seat then your hard work will be in vain. I am sorry. I am tired," she said to all her friends and family. Jothi also recorded a few video messages where she says that she is afraid of the exams and that she is sorry but this is noone's fault.
The other two students who died by suicide in the last month are also the same age as Jothi. On August 19, R Subashri took her own life in Coimbatore a day after the Supreme Court said the NEET will not be postponed. On September 9, another Medical aspirant took his own life by jumping into a well at Elanthankuzhi village near Senthurai in Ariyalur district. The youth, identified as V Vignesh had appeared for the NEET twice, but failed to crack the medical entrance examination. He was depressed over writing the exam and took the extreme step.
Tamil Nadu Chief Minister Edappadi K Palaniswami expressed grief and said children taking such decisions cause anguish to him. "While there are countless ways to succeed in life, success is guaranteed when the students have determination and perseverance to confront anything," he said. Palaniswami extended assurance to the people that the State government would remain supportive of the students' welfare and their growth. He also requested the parents to guide the children upon knowing their ambitions. Leaders of various political parties, including DMK President M K Stalin demanded to scrap NEET.